David and Jessica's wedding was really nice, and instead of doing anything else I went home and talked with my Mom until 1:30 in the morning. Wedding-talk, you know. The kind of conversation that comes with a little boozy lubrication and the looming shadow of a socially-significant event.

"Do you think you'll get married?"

I do. I like the idea. I like being in love. I like children and want to have some when my life is stable enough to responsibly do that. I've also not had a relationship that's lasted more than a few months, and plenty that lasted only a few days, so it's no wonder why people wonder.

Anyway, I've been thinking about these things for a while, and I intend to write about 'em; but I sort of think that means rewriting a lot of my static content, so I keep rolling that into the idea of overhauling this old website and so it gets put off.

And now I have a plane to catch. So there.

It's on now. This weekend I get shoes, a helmet, and some way to listen to music while I ride. I hit the gym. I pick up a real bed. I drop some billable hours. I meet with Mike about our publishing ambitions. No holds are barred, and we have no time to fret over other people's egos. Read the fine print or face the consequences. You really should have known.

2006 is the year of Dropping the Hammer, and I'd like to remind everyone that fiscal year '06 is already underway. Who's your accountant?

I'm in to the city now to pick up my bike and maybe just maybe raise a little cain. Look out.

I'm planning, getting a feeling for what I want to do here. The business is going to work out, and it's going to leave me with enough free time to do some other things. Projects. I'm looking forward to projects.

One of those is going to be a re-org of this whole "josh's website" business. I'm realizing how much of the supporting content for this site is neglegently out of date, think maybe moving to drupal and updaing a lot of the non-blog pages is in order. I'm also going to transplant my political writing... somewhere. Not completely, but I realize that I'm producing different kinds of content here and I want to take this site back to its roots as an individual gonzo institution. I think it will help me produce better stuff.

In a perfect world, the political content moves to a website I start as an effort to organize and develop and publicize my book idea. In a perfect world I also get to use the regular blog to be a real time autobio, which will partly be about the process of the other stuff I do. I think that will let me push things forward on multiple fronts.

So things will be moving and shifting. May be totally broke from time to time. Please bear with us in this time of transition.

On the factor I just learned that Bill O'Reilly is "very hot with the Latinas."

The issue of immigration is mostly about whether or not newspaper columnists are "going after" Mr. Oreilly. Also, there is a major problem in America: rampant infanticide. The ACLU is predictably tratorous.

Finally, the most convroversial story of the day: Billionaire leftwing tyrants have created a media conspiracy -- exemplified by MediaMatters -- which has no anticedent on the Right. This information comes from a couple of conservative guys with websites, not to be confused with the conservative website guy, who's going to be on the broadcast tomorrow.

Good to know. There's sleep medication ads, and then Frist. They lead with border security, an issue O'Reilly touched on. The discussion of Frist's own impending legal problems is phrased as a personal question; "do you want to stick with your current story?" He does, is abosutely confident of the outcome. Later, why Joe Wilson isn't to be trusted.

On the factor I just learned that Bill O'Reilly is "very hot with the Latinas."

The issue of immigration is mostly about whether or not newspaper columnists are "going after" Mr. Oreilly. Also, there is a major problem in America: rampant infanticide. The ACLU is predictably tratorous.

Finally, the most convroversial story of the day: Billionaire leftwing tyrants have created a media conspiracy -- exemplified by MediaMatters -- which has no anticedent on the Right. This information comes from a couple of conservative guys with websites, not to be confused with the conservative website guy, who's going to be on the broadcast tomorrow.

Good to know. There's sleep medication ads, and then Frist. They lead with border security, an issue O'Reilly touched on. The discussion of Frist's own impending legal problems is phrased as a personal question; "do you want to stick with your current story?" He does, is abosutely confident of the outcome. Later, why Joe Wilson isn't to be trusted.

Watching Frontline's bit on torture now. Yeah. The little details like how when General Miller came in to take over GTMO to replace the "softie" Baccus he implements a policy that all salutes would be coupled with the exchange "honor bound / to defend freedom," between saluting individuals...

And this was at the high-end, our response to international terrorism. This was before we invaded and occupied a non-threatening foreign nation and started processing thousands of detainees, mostly with reservists as staff. That got considerably more ugly, with a lot more deaths it would seem. The decision to use Abu Ghraib. The decision to use private contractors. It couldn't be more dramatically wrong.

There's a DOJ lawyer Yoo -- a political appointee and member of the Federalist society -- saying that there's evidence from Israel that aggressive interrigations helped to reduce suicide bombings. I'm curious about that, because from my understanding, the use of state brutality in many ways perpetuated the Intifada.

General Miller seems set to take the fall here. Sanchez, Gonzales, Rumsfeld and Bush are all responsible here, as well as John Ashcroft, but unfortunately I don't think they'll be held accountable in any meaninful way.

Tony Lagouranis, who actually tortured people -- e.g. keeping them locked in a storage container, hovering above hypothermia (rectal temperature taking), scaring detainees into pissing themselves with dogs -- has some of the most compelling stuff, but nothing tops the home videos. Not just the brutality. Watching kids tape themselves fucking up a folding chair with a knife, whooping it up... it's familiar, and deeply disturbing in context.

The truth is we're all accountable for this, whether we like it or not. This administration has got to be stopped. It's too bad we had to wait a year after the election for America to realize this. McCain and Graham are clearly positioning themselves for '08. That's going to be a pretty wild circus.

You can watch the whole thing online -- something PBS is doing correctly -- though they should really put DVD quality versions out on bittorrent so that people can watch it whenever they want. That would be serving the Public Interest.

Saturday night. Holy crap. As if staying out until 5am on Friday wasn't enough.

Kevin brought me out to a rather nice apartment party in Greenpoint. Third wave kind of scene; young professionals; tasty artichoke dip; the sort of thing that threatens to price me out of my old neighborhood. I don't know how it happened, but Franz and I worked our way through a bottle of Wild Turkey in about two hours, things get hazy from there. We were disputing over the issue of Federalism and the appropriate purview of the power of the State. We eventually went to Royal Oak, my attitude was reportedly "fuck those hipsters." The self-loathing is getting more pronounced, you see.

Scene missing.

Conclusion: I puked on Wes and Jeremy's futon. Testiment to my social network that I lived through the night and lost only my bike lock and a jacket (jacket might be at the bar, I'll drop by and check). Apologies to the girls I called at 3 in the morning; hope I was civil at least. Don't really remember. Mega apologies to Wes for the untimely return of the artichoke dip.

I've got to do a little adjusting here, let things settle down, learn to play again. My first day back I was skeptical. I'm still not convinced, but I'm remembering why I like living here. Everyone is beautiful. Everyone ambitious. Gentrification gets me down, but it's not something I can control. Yet.

Anyway, this week I get a haircut and a sublet. We'll see how it works out.

I killed a deer on the way down. Never done that before. It was foggy, nothing I could really do about it. But it provoked an inetersting round of thought. I didn't stop. At fist it was just schock and the cars behond me that kept me driving, but quickly the rationalization engine kicked in: it was dark, there was a narrow shoulder, nowhere to safely pull off; the deer was most certainly going to die if not already dead, and there was not way for me to help that along. I've heard tell of friends pulling off to drag a wounded doe off the road and slit its throat to speed it's passing and clear the highway, but I was without a knife and there were four vehicles right behind me, and I would have had to drive ahead several miles to fined a good place to turn around and go back... I didn't see any realitic options.

So I arrived in time to catch the tail end of dinner in Weshaven, a good time for sure. Costume photos. Dance party. Beautiful people. I like the whole scene. Kelly's the master instigator, channeling the spirit of michael jackson and bringing it all together...

Everything swirls for a while in that great bohemian way, and by and by Mark and I end up talking it out around the fire. Recent history, current situations, future plans. We talk about serious possibilities; making biodiesel, making our own moonshine (Sustainable Booze), making our own piece of life that works.

---

Now leaving Drumm's in SF, my old neighborhood, the Bay Area scene. We had a little party, though i was on the phone helping Alonovo get off the ground for the first couple hours. It was a good time though; lots of comic moments and me being extra loud for people. I slept in the basement and now I'm good to go; hit the coffeeshop and then the road for Vegas.

I killed a deer on the way down. Never done that before. It was foggy, nothing I could really do about it. But it provoked an inetersting round of thought. I didn't stop. At fist it was just schock and the cars behond me that kept me driving, but quickly the rationalization engine kicked in: it was dark, there was a narrow shoulder, nowhere to safely pull off; the deer was most certainly going to die if not already dead, and there was not way for me to help that along. I've heard tell of friends pulling off to drag a wounded doe off the road and slit its throat to speed it's passing and clear the highway, but I was without a knife and there were four vehicles right behind me, and I would have had to drive ahead several miles to fined a good place to turn around and go back... I didn't see any realitic options.

So I arrived in time to catch the tail end of dinner in Weshaven, a good time for sure. Costume photos. Dance party. Beautiful people. I like the whole scene. Kelly's the master instigator, channeling the spirit of michael jackson and bringing it all together...

Everything swirls for a while in that great bohemian way, and by and by Mark and I end up talking it out around the fire. Recent history, current situations, future plans. We talk about serious possibilities; making biodiesel, making our own moonshine (Sustainable Booze), making our own piece of life that works.

---

Now leaving Drumm's in SF, my old neighborhood, the Bay Area scene. We had a little party, though i was on the phone helping Alonovo get off the ground for the first couple hours. It was a good time though; lots of comic moments and me being extra loud for people. I slept in the basement and now I'm good to go; hit the coffeeshop and then the road for Vegas.

If you're seeing this, you're seeing the new server.

So here's an interesting observation. It's been at least three years since I've done any cocaine, but I was out tonight and someone had some, and it still provoked a physical response more acute than any other drug I've casually encountered. And it's not like I ever did all that much blow, so it's not like what I was feeling was a jones. It's that strong of a drug, that it will make your nose itch three years later. The only other thing I know that can do that is a woman. Interesting.