"Undermining my electoral viability since 2001."

Made It Down

I'm in the Bay, circling the wagons with my work gang. The new office space is actually pretty sweet. It's a good lofty spot right on the new Muni line, pretty classy (nice elevators, good-looking neighbors, etc) and located near some good eats.

The space is still coming together. Tyson, the master tenant, is an architect and interior designer, is building a pretty kick-ass conference room, and has big plans. As with most big plans, it'll take some time, but the room is only a day or two's labor away from fully workable with acreage to grow into.

The aftermath of St. Paddy's day wasn't as bad as it might have been. We started off with some excellent Irish Breakfast, moved on to Guiness and Espresso, and then a delicious Corned Beef dinner with some friends in Town, and then the downtown strip. I enjoy a good turn as the Wild Rover, and got to see some sights -- girls in green and all that -- and carouse the scene.

There's something to be said for ramblin' around with half your forebrain tied behind your back. It gets you down to a level, removes some of that social armor. It made me feel a touch more native, especially going out late on my lonesome after Mark and Zya crashed out. Nice.

On the minus side, someone stole my iPod from my truck, but they didn't steal my bike (which they could have), so I guess I can't complain.

It makes me think. I'm just now starting to feel settled and strong in the HC, but looking at 1000 square feet, I can't help but get the feeling that I should spend more time occupying my share of them. I'm sure this will work itself out, but it's kind of funny. Always on the go, it seems.

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Various and Sundry

Gonna hit up the legitimate theatre tonight:

For the past four weeks, Dell’Arte teachers have guided the actors through the Melodramatic territory, a style normally associated with twirling mustaches and maidens tied to railway lines. Six, student-devised, 15-minute plays explore moral dilemmas, neurosis, obsession and the struggle against repressive forces.

Sounds like my kind of thing. I like watching people perform stuff they create, and the fact that it's at bunch of 15-minute vignettes means that if any one is kinda awful -- which with student work is virtually guaranteed, and as it should be -- it will be over soon and the next one will be better. I think it'll be nice.

In nerd news, comment spam has reared its ugly head. I'll be tweaking things to try and change that so my apologies if that prevents you, my beloved readers, from yakking back at me.

And now, a grab-bag of thoughts with spring in the air.

For starters, here's a pointless 20-second video of my man Mark's "outdoor bike garage":

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Getting Back Up On That Art Horse

I've been thinking a lot about [[Art]]. Lately, my personal struggles have reminded me a lot of the latter years of college, spiraling through various creative processes in The Experimental Theater Wing, getting stuck in third-person camera mode (that way it can get for actors, where you watch yourself), stewing in a simmering pot of personal loneliness, confronting an uncertain future.

It's been very difficult to be "in the moment" lately. Admittedly, I don't have are real call to be there as part of a production or anything, but it's one of my core [[Axioms of Living]], the idea that [[Presence is Perfection]]. It's a tense and pensive place to be, one foot in the past, one foot groping for some perchase on the future; pissing on the now.

There are several ways I can think of confronting this, but the one that stands out, is the most frightening, and probably therefore the best, is the idea of getting off my fat careerist ass and being creative again.

There are lots of unanswered questions from that point. Form is a big one. When I came out here originally I told a lot of people I wanted to write a book, which I haven't done. I did end up writing a chapter which may or may not be included in something, which is nice. However, while putting together 8,000 or so words was a good exercise, it didn't really scratch that original itch. I don't particularly have any ambitions (at this point) to deal with the world of publishing, but going after an ambitious writing project is one possibility that appeals. It would have to be some kind of real freaky Gonzo head-explosion, but that's possible. Writing on a tear would give me some of the release I need.

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Stewing in my Juices

Blog withdrawl. It's been an interesting thing. I miss this outlet. It makes me feel disconnected. Energy that would get radiated out through this -- admitedly imperfect -- filter just circles back around inside. Maybe it stagnates; maybe it tenderizes; maybe under pressure it turns into a rich source of future-fuel like so much algae crushed under a sea-bed for ten million years.

Time will tell.

I have not done much of the work I want to do on this old website, although I have done a few sketches, and the other night I went back and looked through all the (digital) photos I've taken in the past five years. Art, bikes, friends, loves, trips, work, play... it's all there. Not all of it, but a comprehensive representative sample. A lot of things I miss.

I was back home last weekend, helping my mom out, and she sort of straight-up told me that I sounded like I needed to have more fun. Like you might think, I resisted this assessment initially, but after thinking about it for a second I couldn't disagree. It's something to consider.

More soon? Lets hope so. Wild bohemian values.

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Don't Forget The Magic

Lately it feels like I have been forgetting the magic. This old website is in its sixth year of operation, and my original reasons for starting it up -- to retain meaningful connections with friends and family, to tell (and therefore to live) a compelling life-story, to embrace several values that I hold dear... all these seem ever more pressing.

My life has changed a lot since November 2001. I've changed too, but I still need the same things. It's time to remodel, to return to some first principles. So, until that gets done I'm going to put a lid on the blog.

It's still there, under the hood, but I'm not going to post anymore until I get some things figured out. This is partly how I spur myself into action, carrots and sticks. However, if you want to get a ping when I come back, here's where you go.

In the mean time, I'm still going to be active online in the usual spots:

So maybe I'll put a little more here sometime, but for now I'm going to go back to digging for the magic. See you on the other side.

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You Gotta Rip Up To Tear Down

Kneel before your new god:

Since I've gotten a car, the most practical impact on my life is that I've been making regular trips to the gym. I've used the little workout room at the Arcata community pool off and on since I moved here. It's simple, unpretentious, never crowded, and there are hardly ever any distractions (that is, pretty people), all of which is what I look for in a space to exercise in.

After starting back up, I've noticed I gained a few pounds, which is to be expected. Although my muscle tone is returning (hence the extra weight), I still feel a little pudgy and out of shape. I think this is because for the first time in quite a while I have not been bicycling on a regular basis.

There's a real difference in effects, both physically and mentally, between aerobic and anaerobic exercise. Generally when I go to work-out it's weight training with a little cardio, but that's taking for granted that everywhere I've lived previously I'd bike to the gym. Given the new circumstances, I've decided to go for a bit more cardiovascular emphasis -- drain off some excess body-oil stockpiles / get high and cosmic on the endorphins -- and I've turned to the elliptical trainer in my hour of need.

Usually I rock the stationary cycle, but my spot doesn't have a great option there. The one upright has a wide seat, which is good for some people but not me and my workout style. I like to ramp it up to 95rpms, listen to the Private Psychadelic Reel, and sweat my ass off; having to shove my legs around a big cushion is a pain, literally. Their recumbent option -- always my favorite style for stationary cycling -- doesn't offer variable resistance, so I can't make it hard enough to get an appropriate burn.

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Reign o'er me!

It's raining!

This is a pretty good thing, as the winter out here has been exceptionally dry (and cold). Rivers running low, etc. Out where I live water isn't a problem per-se, but farmers and other folks in drier parts of California have been stressing it.

I'm also headed down to SF this weekend. Probably drive down Friday morning and back on Sunday. Got to do a little business and mind-melding, and Moammar's got a clean bill of health from the mechanic, so I feel good embarking on the trip.

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Let There Be Rock!

Last night went out to a kick-ass rock show at the Logger Bar in Blue Lake. It was fantastic in many ways.

First of all, the music was good! The headlining group was Orange Sunshine, from the Netherlands:

The problem with music in the late 60's was the hippy shit, right? The goddamn peace and love stuff, the acoustic folkies, the going-to-San-Francisco-with-flowers-in-yr-hair.
But what if the 60's were as wildly murderous a time as these strange days? What if it was ALL Charlie Manson and napalm and muddy drugfreak people and Up Against the Wall, Motherfucker? Well, then, there'd only be, like, 5 bands left standing- the Stooges, the MC5, Hendrix, Blue Cheer, and Orange Sunshine.

They were well supported by Ghengis Khan from Oakland (no link, sorry) and notable locals The Ravens. It was all good loud, driving, rock and roll. Orange Sunshine and Ghengis Khan featured singing drummers (always a strong configuration when it works), and the Ravens frontwoman Melissa Medina is channeling some serious shit.

The Logger Bar is also a great place to have a show. It's big enough to actually have a show in, but small enough that it feels full even when 1/2 the crowd hasn't shown up yet. It's also covered with ancient logging paraphernalia, like giant esoteric chainsaws and pickaxes. They serve 24oz cans of Pabst and although the two sturdy women behind the bar could have used a barback, it worked out ok.

And finally, everyone was there. It had the feeling of public life that I've been craving, and there were also girls (hooray, girls!).

Yeah, so a good time was had by all. My neck is sore today. Kudos to Kelly B for doing such a great job of organizing it. Hopefully this will happen more often.

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Public Life

Just pulling something out of my last post which I found real interesting upon re-reading, the phrase public life.

If there's one real huge difference between living here in Humboldt County versus New York City, it's how small the public sphere seems to be. I'm sure this will be a contrast anywhere else I live, but there's a way in which the spatial restrictions and density of the city adds a decidedly public character to much of life.

Most of your time, on average, is spent outside your home. You socialize in public places and because of the genial nature of eyes on the street and because no one drives anywhere, you can get drunk in public with little fear for life or limb.

Here it's very different. Life is more private for more people -- you can spend six months at Westhaven and never really go out, still be happy -- and for that do head out, the band of experience that really passes for "public" is somewhat narrower.

This creates an interesting situation for me. While I'm hardly a gadfly or a social-climber, I do enjoy the kind of energy and interactions that come from having a public profile. I'm also very much a newbie, and finding the right scene in which to see and be seen is on my TODO list for sure.

Anyway, more gozo later. Just thought it was an interesting and revealing turn of phrase.

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Sin's A Good Man's Brother

I admit it; I'm a little stressed.

There's a lot going on right now. The revolution is headed into uncharted waters. My life is taking unexpected turns into unknown territory. Business is booming. It's also cold as hell out here, and we're running out of wood.

There's a lot going on.

Politically the season is officially on. I've been doing some work with a couple of old cohorts on Future Majority. It's principally the creation of Mike Connery and Alex Urevick, who I know through MFA, and through hanging out while I lived Brooklyn, etc. We're pretty close, and I've started helping get the site really cooking as a project for Chapter Three.

This is going to be an interesting cycle. The way I see it there are three strong challengers from the Democratic field, and any one of them (Clinton, Edwards or Obama) could win, and there are plenty of lesser-known possibilities who could come up and surprise everyone. The question is who do we want to send?

My sense is that the real action this year is issue based, rather than candidate based activism. This lets us tie in with Speaker Pelosi's Congress, and to push the potential candidates into creating stronger and more powerful campaigns.

It's a lot of work. There's a lot going on.

Personally I've made some steady progress. Since I am my own ride into town, I've made it to the gym for two weeks straight. This is a good thing.

However, I've yet to effectively branch out into public life here, although I am getting a feel for town. Walked around and checked a few places out on Friday. It was early (I was killing time waiting for Mark to finish his Lifeguard shift) so nothing much was happening, but it did feel good to be my own presence in the world.

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