"Undermining my electoral viability since 2001."

Oh Man

Just heard that Spalding Grey died. The NYT (my favorite local paper) has the details, as well as a pretty decent account of his career. He was an amazing artist. I got to meet and talk with him once back in High School, and his body of work was pretty inspiring to me as a performer. Sorry to see him go.

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Gone Campin'

I've gone campin'. Have a good weekend.

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The Life of a Rider; Slot the Groove; Cut Mix Wheel Spin

In a straightaway I'm slower on my bicycle than a car, but I retain an edge in agility and I disobey the law. These are really the advantages. City cycling is a ballet of sorts, a thing of rhythm and unity in motion. There are a plethora of variables that enter and exit your equation as you ride block to block. Car door, hill, streetlight, jogger, dog walker, left turn only, yadda yadda yadda. The ability of a rider to carve through time, to see ahead as a speed chess player does -- not with absolute precision, but with sufficient confidance to make a move without pausing for conscious thought -- is the differentiator between recreational cyclists and true riders.

It is the difference between tourism and adventure, between a pleasent diversion and a lifestyle choice.

My position in the world as a rider colors my other experience. I'm comfortable, even desirous of sustained physical exertion. I am comfortable with my sweat, comfortable playing with degrees of energy and torque that could be lethal if misapplied. I am urban calvary. Riding thrusts you into your environment just as driving a car removes you from it; when in transit I exist in a public space, subject to the same forces as any other object of being. This changes the way you feel about your cubicle at work, your room at home, your booth at the bar, etc etc etc.

Lately as I've been down and out some, I've taken to riding hard and high to work through things. Methodically climbing big hills in SF, I answer questions to myself; I ruminate, preachify, storm and thunder, rhapsodize; all to the rhythm set up in my thighs and pushed through my knees to my feet to the pedal crank chain gear spoke weel tube rubber road. Higher and higher. With my slick set of wheels geared all the way down, dropping one leg's full pistoning potential will cause my front end to kick up off the street even on the steepest of car-chase hills. Iggy Pop; raw power is sure to come running to you.

There's something to this, to the working and maneuvers. The downhill glee, and the syncopation of threading through other objects in motion. When I swing around a corner on a steady great arc, passing pretty crosswalk girls close enough to carry an eddy of perfume in my wake there's a thrill of quality and excellence that's absolutely priceless and addictive. There's an edge of death and danger and reptilian satisfaction to all of this, and it colors the rest of my experience. The life of a rider is saturated and high-contrast, and when we fall off our horses, there's nothing for it but to get back up and ride again.

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What's Your Role Here?

You know, I get emails sometimes from my friends back in New York, people doing art and making fun bits of fancy. And I IM with random kids I've met through MfA and politics; child prodegy in Alaska; highschool punk rocker facing expulsion over asking questions about a teacher getting fired, his dad's been called up to serve a two year hitch; Mordecai, etc. I talk to two early-teen kids on their way to the mall via caltrain, they want to know about my shoes, what I do, so I give them a card. They're surprised I've never been to the Hillsdale mall, that I don't own a car, but they seem to think it's cool too.

I read things about what other people think is important, what other people believe in, what other people organize their lives around, and some of it makes sense and a some of it doesn't, but what's missing is something that works for me. What is it, excatly, that I'm trying to accomplish here... am I just trying to assuage my concience so I can go back to making art? Seems it's become something more than that, but why and what exactly it's become is confounding at the moment.

What am I capable of? How wide a gap can I bridge? Does it make sense to hold on to anarchists and rebel leaders with one hand and establishment electoral politics with another? Is it even possible to be a conduit for that kind of energy transfer? Does being involved in technology and culture help? Do I have credibility? Am I cool enough to attempt this? To what extent should I plan and control, and to what extent should I cut loose and ride the lightning?

Looking back on a year, I don't exactly know how I got here or even precisely where I am. I'm not complaining, just pointing out the presence of mystery and confusion. What's my role here? Good question.

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