You know, I get emails sometimes from my friends back in New York, people doing art and making fun bits of fancy. And I IM with random kids I've met through MfA and politics; child prodegy in Alaska; highschool punk rocker facing expulsion over asking questions about a teacher getting fired, his dad's been called up to serve a two year hitch; Mordecai, etc. I talk to two early-teen kids on their way to the mall via caltrain, they want to know about my shoes, what I do, so I give them a card. They're surprised I've never been to the Hillsdale mall, that I don't own a car, but they seem to think it's cool too.

I read things about what other people think is important, what other people believe in, what other people organize their lives around, and some of it makes sense and a some of it doesn't, but what's missing is something that works for me. What is it, excatly, that I'm trying to accomplish here... am I just trying to assuage my concience so I can go back to making art? Seems it's become something more than that, but why and what exactly it's become is confounding at the moment.

What am I capable of? How wide a gap can I bridge? Does it make sense to hold on to anarchists and rebel leaders with one hand and establishment electoral politics with another? Is it even possible to be a conduit for that kind of energy transfer? Does being involved in technology and culture help? Do I have credibility? Am I cool enough to attempt this? To what extent should I plan and control, and to what extent should I cut loose and ride the lightning?

Looking back on a year, I don't exactly know how I got here or even precisely where I am. I'm not complaining, just pointing out the presence of mystery and confusion. What's my role here? Good question.