"Undermining my electoral viability since 2001."

The Politirix Are BOOORING, Sydney

UPDATE: Kos/Atrios on the lack of leadership. I don't know how to diagnose the problem ("the consultant class" feels too vague and simple), but the inability of prominent Democrats to actually get infront of the Public is crippling.

Jerome read it in the stars that the race is Hillary's to lose. Maybe he's right. I still think a lot can change between now and Thanksgiving, and I hope to hell that it does.

The 2008 political cycle has thus far been a near universal bummer for me. Nobody seems to be responding to the fact that the overwhelming majority of Americans think the country is on the wrong track. People think this for all sorts of reasons, sure, but the universality of dissatisfaction suggests a real consensus on the part of the Public that, in the words of Dwane Allisandro Comacho, "shit's bad right now."

The Republicans are almost comically trying to one-up one-another with the severity of their proscriptions and solutions for the nation's ills. Nuke Iran! Double the size of Gitmo! Identify all illegal immigrants! It's mostly ridiculous fearmongering, but at least it's responsive. Democrats, in contrast, are running a laconic race so far, afraid to disagree with one another, largely unwilling to suggest that anything is really all that wrong, or that anyone could be at fault.

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Why I Write

So I've been reflecting a bit on my reasons for engaging in this hellfired pursuit we call "blogging." The last post I made was written, like a lot of my posts over the years (and personal paper journal entries too), in a fit of confusion and uncertainty and unhappiness. Expunging angst through sheer exposure is one of the benefits I get from the whole thing, a kind of cleansing exhibitionism.

And indeed, after putting it out there and deciding to take care of myself and rest easy for an evening, my attitudinal gyroscope corrected; by Sunday I was feeling quite alright. Mission accomplished.

My original reasons for starting this up were to let people keep up with me, to help provide an easy way to keep those stretchy/elastic social ties over the years, and to nudge myself lead a more honest and open existence. My intended audience is my friends and family and comrades, who (I think) appreciate the perspective I articulate, or at least get a kick out of my stories, even though I'm sure at times they're shaking their heads thinking, "oh no, honey. Noooo..."

Over the years, the exhibitionism angle has come and gone; activism has waxed and wained; and I've come to really deeply appreciate the outlet and daily practice of simply writing. It's a muscle, and it gets better with exercise. That's a constant value, and one I didn't really think of when I started.

So I'm happy to cast my words into the ether, and sometimes the ether answers back. It's flattering really, that I can string sentences together good enough to provoke a response, and more often than not I find nuance and insight from the contributions of others.

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Two Steps Forward, One Step Back (again)

I'm struggling. [[axioms of living|The most important thing is to stop struggling]].

Weeks of sly and furtive procrastination has lead my working life to another crunch period with looming deadlines and no way out but to bear down doubly hard. Why do we do this to ourselves? Is it just the sick work/life style we learn in college? Is it simply human nature to wait for pressure to act? Is it some kind of self-sabotage? Who knows, but I want to move beyond this. It feels juvenile, unprofessional. It creates feelings of anger and dismay:

Baaaah! This is not happening! (Rex from Memphis, a lovable old Baptist stoner who's daughter picked me up on the streets and brought our whole crew into their home for a night), or maybe MY EMPIRE IS CRUMBLING (Kids in the Hall; Brain Candy).

It's not the end of the world, but it is a setback. Here we are again, at the end of the rope, pulling ourselves back into the game. This isn't what I want to do with my life.

And it doesn't help my mood that this girl I was hoping to see won't call me back. It's not entirely surprising seeing as how I already used (squandered, said Dauter at the time, which I didn't quite understand then but do now) my second-chance a couple years ago. My life experience suggests that second-chances tend to be last chances, but still.

And it doesn't help either that a work-related trip back to NYC got bumped back to July, which is after the other girl I was hoping to see will have blown out of Brooklyn. Kind of a one-two punch to the hopes. They may spring eternal, but the snap-back's a real bitch.

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Off the Wagon

UPDATE: A sleuthing commentator suggests it's a low/non-alcoholic beer. Add as many grains of salt to the following as you see fit.

G-dubs is on the sauce, in case that hasn't been obvious for a while. The headline is Illness Sidelines Bush at G-8 Summit. Bottle flu is a bitch, man.

I don't really think there's anything wrong with a president drinking, or being drunk even. However, if Bush has actually internalized the AA model of relating to alcohol -- which is debatable; it's totally possible that his whole Billy Graham come-to-Jesus thing was a sham from the start, or that the "dry drunk" theory is for real -- it's not a good thing for him to be drinking at all.

AA doesn't really work any better than other methods of treating alcohol. Relapse-rates remain in the 90th percentile. However, the fact is that the AA model is founded on a paradigm of total abstinence and release of control, the recognition that the addict is helpless and that they must appeal to a "higher power" to control their relationship with the chemicals. Relapses from this kind of treatment -- as opposed to those which try to create a more normalized relationship between addict and substance -- tend to be total, a fall from grace so to speak.

So, while I'm 100% sure that the bureaucracy of government is fully capable of handling a president on a bender -- Darth Cheney and all -- it's still more troubling to see Bush off the wagon than, say, Nixon getting boozed up and confronting protesters. Tricky Dick was in charge of the bottle. Dubs, if his narrative of alcoholic redemption is true, may be at its mercy.

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