"Undermining my electoral viability since 2001."

From The Archives: How To Combat Hipsterism

So, my mom tells me the other day:

leelatour: had dinner with ethan last night...think there may be ways we can hook up with him
leelatour: a great guy!
leelatour: when ethan made the connections to the "youngins" at the co-op that I was your mom...they said, "oh, josh, the hipster."
leelatour: told them i'd pass that along..lol
leelatour: and explained your disdain for such creatures

From my archives:

January 29th 2002: The Troubles

The troubles are with me strong. An abortive day. I made it all the way to Grand Central, eventual destination White Plains, when I got the call that the whole show is postponed until tomorrow. Then waiting around for the bike shop to open (need a new derailer) and it never does. Sitting in a trendy Williamsburg cafe, wanting not to look the part that I'm looking. Like a fucking hipster. In retaliation, I composed a list of ways to fight back:

  • Smile Lots (don't pout, whine, complain, bitch)
  • Love to Sweat (work, exercise, exert yourself)
  • Embody Raging Lumberjack Masculinity
  • Take a Western (as in west-coast) Attitude
  • Maintain Unbridled Optimism in the face of Total Narcissistic Cynicism

Also, reading "Sometimes a Great Notion" by good old dead Ken Keasy. He's from my neck of the woods, and his writing makes me miss Oregon something powerful.

Hard to believe that was Five Years ago.


The truest method of combat I ever heard was from Other Jeremy. Remember that thing he wrote? One item was to "gesture a lot." And that's really right on the money. I've seen trendniks buck every one of the items you listed...but not gesturing. Of course, this may all be futile now. The trendniks seem to be getting absorbed or going away. The parts of the fashion that could have moved into the general population, the attitude was never a self-sustaining one like hip hop, the sub-culture never understood irony, and a lot of them probably got real jobs where that shit don't fly by now.

Trendniks! That's genius. To some extent, there's a broader DIY/craft/indie culture that persists, and what I conventionally think of as "hipsterism" really comes down to a matter of style, and a specific sub-sub-culture that was dominant earlier this decade. There will always be pretentious wanna-be bohemians.

And here's that list:

  1. Point at people. Hipsters never point, they cock heads, gesture, imply. Fuck that. POINT at 'em. At their friends. Throw in a "hey...hey...HEY! STOP THAT!" If desired effect is not acheived dish out a good ol' fashioned "HAHA! Look at THIS fuckin' GUY!" It'll get 'em WIRED.

  2. Openly discuss the influences of THEIR influences, like the Mekons or something, and watch the thin veil of confusion fall across their faces as they realize that they don't know WHO and/or WHAT you are talking about, exposing their phony-ness to the general populace and gently easing them down into the mire of cultural mediocrity.

  3. Make eye contact. MAINTAIN eye contact. They'll never do that one either. They are not merely a part of, but represent the very ESSENCE of the chihuahua-like skitishness of the prototypical New Yorker. Play on that one. When they are at their MOST vulnerable, smile brightly and say "HEY! How ARE ya? Howdy-do!" - good ol Woddie Guthrie.

That's the list! He outdid himself on that one. I had trendnik in Wikipedia for about six months before it was caught (or some other long time period). Slowly it will take over the world!