Vintage Outlandish!

This Content From 2003 (or earlier) see index

"I been dazed and confused so long it's not true..." Yeah, this is a party shot.

The Mayor of Outland

The origins of the operative adjective "outlandish" are amusing. It was shortly after I'd moved back to NYC after graduation. Frank and I had moved in with three girls -- Christina, Melissa and Jill -- in a spacious apartment in the East Village. We were all sort of still getting to know each other, and one day I came home to find Christina having a "goddess party" (using a gift kit with items and instructions he sister had given her for Christmas) with her friends Emily and Kate.

Having grown up in Eugene Oregon, and having had a few empowered female friends in my time, I offered to leave and give them their space. They said no, it'd be ok for me to stay. Cool. A little later Frank comes home and he's blessed to stay as well. After a few things transpire, we end up smoking a really large joint.

Now, I'm not a big stoner, so I tend to get silly when I'm high. I just don't see the value in maintaining. Why be cool? It takes a lot of effort and its what you do the rest of the time anyway. So take a break, hepcat. Anyway, I went into my room to change into more comfortable clothes. I emerged with my painting pants (really old jeans with big holes, 90% covered in multicolored paint splatters) and a t-shirt with the neck and sleeves cut off that had a picture of Nixon and Elvis shaking hands and text reading, "We're Dead".

Me and the pope statue in my neighborhood. Photo credit goes to Brie.

On my way out into the common room where everyone else was, I caught myself in the mirror. As I emerged, I felt the need to apologize for my appearance, saying, "I just wanted to put on my most comfortable clothes, but then I realized that I'm looking completely outlandish." To say the least, it was a true moment, and the moniker has more or less stuck.

To give some narrative closure: we did mud masks from the goddess kit, then tried to watch some midget porn (really gross... don't try it), couldn't stomach it, and settled in to screen Purple Rain, which we all agreed probably angered the goddesses more than letting some men into the mud mask ceremony. All in all it was a group bonding experience, and I'm still good friends with everyone involved. If any of y'all are reading this, thank you for helping me be outlandish.