As I finish packing to head back out to New York, still weak with some virus or bacteria, I'm feeling reflective in a way I haven't been in a long time. Nostalgic for past loves, easier times. I find myself more and more estranged from the things that matter to me and starting to really buy those cheap military metaphors for politics. Campaigning is ugly business, and not much fun sits in store for you when you go to be a solder.

So here I sit, a chap who's doing his best to defy the right-wing revolution, sifting back through memories of 2, 4 even 7 or 8 years ago. It's a lot to deal with, childhoods end. I don't want to give up playing, don't want to give up innocent dreams. And I don't want to give up wanderlust and whimsy and lazy days either, but I have; at least for the time being.

The real question that nags at me is where this all leads. Why am I doing what I do and what will it all mean in 6 months, a year? Where will I live and how will I spend my time? Will I have any better stories to tell? Will I feel more accomplished, more at home, more alive? I'm out of groove here; bouncing across the vinyl, or maybe I'm too deep in, to rutted. The work being done is good and important, but on some fundimental level it isn't me, not quite, not yet. This single-mindedness is not to my liking.

So many things left to do, left to explore, left to unearth, uncover, depths left to plumb. How to swing it; how to travel the world, advance my career (whatever that means), ameleorate my debts, reconnect with friends and family, enrich my knowledge, find love again, make new connections, start building the foundations for a full adult life, and still have time for stupid hijinks and fun. It all seems too much, yet anything less seems a cop-out.

I haven't been philosophizing much lately, just getting hung up with work and petty concerns. I haven't written anything really good, anything remotely dangerous, in a long time. It's time to get back to basics, methinks. If you don't change the direction you're headed, you're liable to end up where you're going.

Over/Spun has the link to a torrent file of a Daily Show clip that's absolutely priceless. The satire of the present day is great, but what I like even more is the use of historical punnery to frame the whole thing.

Cordery: "This war of words between the campaigns threatens to become a quagmire. Ooops, I shouldn't say 'War.' This police action between the two campaigns could go on for some time."

Smart. Insightful. Laugh out loud funny.

I'm sick. I woke up Monday morning in Salt Lake City and I knew I was ill. Swolen throat, stuffy head. I've been pushing it a little too hard lately it seems. I'm taking it easy, which also means refraining from any vice. Today I realized that my headache wasn't just from congestion, but also from 36 hours without caffeine. Addiction, anyone?

I fly to NYC Thursday; get in early evening, will be calling around tomorrow to find the place to crash.

Hopefully my health will recover. Until then its off to the races regardless.

The hits keep coming. WaPo: Intelligence Soldiers Are Implicated

Defense Secretary Donald H. Rumsfeld has told reporters that one detainee was kept hidden on his instructions, following a request by the CIA. Staff Sgt. Christopher Ward, a member of the 372nd Military Police Company deployed at the Abu Ghraib prison in Baghdad, testified this week at a military trial in North Carolina that he was ordered to hide prisoners during at least three ICRC visits last fall and winter.

So our Secretary of "Defense" has brazenly admitted that he directly ordered US Military Personnel to violate the Geneva Conventions. And we're fine with this? Warning! Warning! Slippery slope ahead! Nation must change course asap, refute barbarism!

Does this trouble anyone else?

It was only a matter of time. We've all had the script for a while:

The New York Times prints this on the front of their website (which I assume means front page in print), an articled called Anarchists Emerge as the Convention's Wild Card. It's the same old same old. Here's what protest-busting Miami Mayor Timoney has to say:

"These guys are pretty sophisticated and just wait for opportunities,'' said Chief Timoney, who as a ranking officer with the New York police confronted anarchist demonstrations during the 1992 Democratic convention. "They are going to look to provoke the cops. It's all a game.''

I'll tell you what I'm worried about: I'm worried about Agent Provocateurs. I'm worried that the patriot act makes it legal to infiltrate political groups and that some people may be embedded to start trouble. This was documented in '68, and though there are very few paralells between NYC and Chicago, one would be remiss to remember the chaos without remembering that it was largely instigated by excessively aggressive police action and agents of the police and COINTELPRO.

I know the NYPD is going to be relatively mellow, their little display of arsinal notwithstanding. Most of them don't really like Bush all that much, so they sympathize with protesters generally. They're by in large not looking to bust heads or book people.

The question is whether there will be any mob action. I can see the smart black blockers running their calculated decentralization tacits, demonstrating how a few hundred people with cell phones and a few bicicles can bring a major metorpolis to a halt. These tactics are effective, but they don't make great television, so I don't expect a lot of media coverage.

All in all I think the hype is good for everyone on the left; it will lead to a bigger "let down" when the streets of NYC fail to flow red with the blood of the unbelievers. It will also let the protesters prove their tactical superiority. And maybe just maybe the naicent ties between regular liberal and the radical left will continue to strengthen, as we realize we have goals in common.

From Wonkette's Party Schedule for the RNC

5 - 8 PM, Grover Norquist & Americans for Tax Reform Reception, New York Yacht Club, 37 W. 44th St., American for Tax Reform

Yes. Americans for tax reform. At the Yacht Club. Oh yes. Yes.

I'm going to be doing trainings every day of the RNC. Come on by the Tank and spend an hour with me. Special guests will include Zephyr Teachout and maybe the kids from downhillbattle.org.

Dude fired for not playing along with staged Bush event

So it's gotten to the point where people are firing people for expressing dissent to the president. Oh man.

Something important happened this weekend. The main attack arm of the Bush campaign collapsed under the weight of it's own lies.

Unless you're living in a swing state, you may never have heard of the "Swift Boat Veterans for Truth," but they were a major part of the Bush/Cheney '04 re-election strategy. This weekend, their effort to tar John Kerry's record in Vietnam -- critical to reign in Republicans who are secretly unhappy with Bush and tempted to trust someone with actual front-line experience -- blew up in their faces.

This is a group of people who made some shit up to push the idea that John Kerry's whole story -- his medals, the testimony of his crewmates, the official Navy record -- was all a buch of bullshit. They were funded by a friend of Bush's in TX who could drop $100,000, and they have begun airing ads telling "their side" of the story about Kerry's service in Vietnam, particularly this one point where he saved a guy named Jim's life.

Well, as political character assasinations go, this was an amateur job. While the "Siwft Boat Vetrans For Truth" story initially seemed to spark some interest, it has now been revealed as specifically contradicted at every level by multiple eyewitness accounts, the standing official record, and even their own past statements.

Today the final link in the chain was forged when it was revealed that a member of the Bush/Cheney '04 "Veterans Steering Committee" was also illegally working for the group. In spite of weeks of denials of coordination, the Bush/Cheney '04 Campaign was forced to fire personnel because it's now an unavoidable conclusion that they straight up broke the law.

Not only were they pushing slander, they were illegally coordinating with unregulated soft-money donations. The whole effort will go down in political history books as an bungling exercise in criminal subversion of the electoral process; an early 21st Century footnote to a column headed by Watergate.

But don't be surprised. This is really nothing new; they did the same (and worse) to John McCain in 2000. The attack dogs in the Republican Party truly are profressionals, and clearly have no shame.

So I think this is a major break; more or less the end of Bush's most ferocious negative attack against Kerry. I think it's going to backfire, but in spite of 1,200+ stories on this development, drudge is leading with Bush going to Athens, so I guess we'll have to see.

1,000 Words trying to get to the heart of a question that's been buzzing in my brain for the better part of two years now. Why is Bush being nominated in New York City?

I'll give you a hint: starts with a 9, end's with and 11, and it's coming back to haunt him.