I've been taking a beating on all fronts. A weekend, a summer really, frought with frustration and disappointment, broken plans, disappearing dreams. We're learning again the difference between fantasy and reality, aren't we? I don't mean to sound depressing, but it's kind of been a shitstorm.

Our 4th of July party was busted by the cops for noise. At 8:45pm. On a Friday. On American's birthday. They didn't even tell us to keep it down; just clear them all out. The Bonobo Project eventually got to play in Chelsea's basement, more or less saving America, but the evening on the whole was still fractured and left me cold. Late night lonesome voicemail to the old girlfriend, who I'm missing a fucking lot more than I like to let on. Called to hear her voice on the message; that's where it's getting to be. Then the past two days I've been in linux server hell, and I'm still not clear yet. Probably dropping the ball in a big way, but I need to resolve this shit and get on to the next thing, because I think I'm going ulcerous. No money. No love. No fun. All work and no play makes Josh a dull boy. I still need that back massage.

The high points are few and flickering. I'm glad Howard Dean is kicking ass and taking names, but I'm starting to fear that my personal life might disintegrate before any of that begins to make a difference on my level. Soon I'll be out at the Country Fair which I hope will give some measure of respite, but that's a lot of work too. Feeling kind of dicey about Everything. Pessimism creeping in on a high-velocity fatigue vector.

Drop me a comment and give me some good news. I could use it.