I'm lonesome. The other weekend this really great woman sort of just brushed through my life; a highschool crush, and still quite something. Then just this past weekend I was hoping to see her again -- she lives far from here, was on her way to and from a Spring vacation -- but no such luck. I shouldda called her. And, yet there's been an effect, old musty parts of my mind and body are alive and tingling.

And I remember this feeling. As all my senses come online it feels like senior year of college, like that last frenzied compressed three semesters. Very busy and on my own. I'd broken up with Yael, was solidifying my identity, directing my friends in a play, taking a full courseload -- classical theater, musical singing, hitting the weights, trying my little gambits with the women. Everything was full of movement, and yet I cut through it more or less in my own bubble.

Once again my days are full, the stress is high, the great singing uknown calls out, but this time I think my sense of isolation is more pronounced. My social world, while growing, is much smaller than it was when I was in college. With work taking so much of my time and being so far removed from the rest of my life, conditions have been unfavorable; the network is thin. And so the night just a mite bit colder.