"Undermining my electoral viability since 2001."

Update

I'm out of house and home; it's easy on a weekend. We'll see how this week goes.

Bastard spammers keep hitting my trackbacks even though they're disabled. It makes me sad. Site revamp is eminent.

Lots of good things happening. I'l chronicle and record in good time. Lucas is in AZ with truck in hand and visiting with Talyn, we'll head up to Westhaven Friday. The wheel is in spin.

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The crisis of meaning is upon me again...

In spite of overall long-term confidence, the feeling right now reminds me of getting out of college, a kind of four-year de ja vu. I'm still hurting for space to think and fumbling around for the lack of structure. Lost in the wheels of confusion, spinning fast on caffeine and poverty.

I have blind faith that something will break soon, but at the moment I don't know what it is, and I worry about letting people down. Hopefully my universe will be forgiving. I need some time for myself.

The Crisis Of Meaning is a time-worn idea, something I've discussed with my friends since adolesence. According to good old Erik Erikson, we're supposed to have moved out of the struggle of Identity vs Role Confusion and into the realm of Intimacy vs Isolation. I ponder...

Intimacy is defined as the ability to be close to others. This means as a lover, a friend, and as a contributing member of society. There's the rub. Though I feel strong on the issue of "who I am," I have quite a lot of angst about "what I do" and "who I do it with." What's your role here? Just what would ya say ya do?

The last time I remember feeling like I had a good answer to this was in early 2003. Sasha took me out to a party in TriBeCa with a bunch of other people who seemed older and more established, I was leaning in a doorframe (like Brando's Stanley) and sweating from biking over from Brooklyn and we were doing the introduction thing. The women were teachers or grad students; the men were in finance. "I'm an artist." I threw on a little bit of Oregon accent with it. Felt right. Sasha took to it, which was the point, but I didn't really live up to the billing in the long run, got sidetracked -- really -- into politics as an occupation, and now I'm here.

And I'm struggling. The most important thing is to stop struggling. Need motion, velocity my old sweet mistress.

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More Thoughts On BattleStar Galactica

Just finished episode 13 of 13 so far produced. Good stuff all the way through. It's not all that often that you'll see television programming taking risks, going at all outside the box, but when it does it can be quite good. I highly recommend this bit of sci fi.

I lik be because it does very well with the form, managing to explore all the great classic metaphysical topics -- what does it mean to be human? a staple of the genre -- as well as political theory and mythology to boot, and all this with highly engaging characters and admirable style. I'm watching online (not like I'd help their neilsons anyway) so the lack of commercials is a boon, but the bottom line is it's good viewing. If they get the pick up for a second season, (which is looking likely as the show is a relative hit here and across the pond), Edward James Olmos has a meal ticket that could take him to mainstream notoriety ala Patrick Stewart. Providing he wants it of course.

Speaking of Stewart, I think this series can do a lot more for the players involved than Star Trek: The Next Generation. On the whole the characters are vastle less "gimmicky." This is good. It means the show is less otaku-centric (more broadly appealing and free to roam), and it also means the actors can avoid typecasting. There's a lot less pseudo-science -- though a lot more pseudo mythology/politics -- and a lot more simple drama. The style is much more gritty/lowbrow, and the action revolves more around the course of human events than what strange planet crop ups next.

I think it's a good setup. In all it probably makes for a shorter shelf life (it's hard to see this thing going 7 seasons without some serious cheese) but there are at least 20 or 30 good episodes in it if they keep everyone on board and enthusiastic. My guess is that this is the first big break for a number of the cast and crew, and the producers aren't old hands either. It's a start-up show. The whole thing has the touch of the auteur, of vision, of people who have been looking for their chance to make a mark.

I'll say again, it's a step up for science fiction, let alone on TV. If you're savvy you can watch it on your computron like it did. If you've got cable, you can catch it on sci fi. If you're looking to be entertained, I suggest you give it a whirl either way.

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That More People Would Believe

Daily Kos :: An Outsiders' Reaction to His First DFA Meetup

I honestly can say now that I understand why people are the way they are for Dean and what he wants to do. His organization, and the people involved in it, are making a difference in their own communities, and by doing that they are making it better for all of us. I saw three future state Congressmen, at the least, and a couple that could possibly make it to national level. Two of them would not have even tried, if not for DFA.

That's nice to read. I'm burnt lately, calling myself "a technician" or "a plumber" in the world of poltrix online. Truth is, I need to get away from it in order to replentish whatever it is that keeps my inner fires burning. That's why I'm planning on living on east coast couches for three months. That's why I'm planning to be On The Road for the summer.

The good news is that stories like these are going to keep happening, and with Howard Dean likely to take the chair of the party -- this is looking more likely than Iowa ever did, largely because it's such a non-public proceeding -- I have reasonable hope that his common-sense facts-first reality-based and other-hyphenated approach will build these nodes of activity into a thriving network. There are 100s of bright young things burning to work for him. They'll do good.

For my part, all this gives me moral cover to duck out for a bit, to think about my own trajectory knowing that if I got hit by a bus the world would be in as good hands as could be reasonably expected. I'm needing a long dip in the deep metaphysical, been thinking about stuff on the other end of the divine membrane; impractical but stirring lines of inquiry.

I'll keep writing and reading and dropping opinions from time to time of course. If you ever want my take on something, feel free to drop a line. Gouts of fiery rhetoric will come, and I'll never cease to poke and pry at the puzzles of language, ethics and political theory. But I realize that politicking -- horseracing, hackery, jockeying for position -- isn't really my game, though I'm glad I know some damn good players. Campaigning is something I'll take up again down the line, and maybe in a decade I'll end up governing a household or something larger, but for now I'm happy to tie my soul to other things, and let the job be a job again.

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