"Undermining my electoral viability since 2001."

Loan Wolf

We got a weight set, and I took a zig-zag bicicle sojourn up to Twin Peaks. It was a good thing; pumping a little iron and then tearassing up those car chase worthy San Francisco hills. I was aiming for that giant radio tower that reminds me of the Burning Man -- Sutro Tower -- but I missed the access road by a couple miles. Got some altitude though, sweat and burn and then all those good free moments coming down as a payoff... passing a yuppie chick in an Acura coupe on her way to some hilly organinc market, blowing a stop sign with no hands, perfect unity with my headphones and then a roller-coaster lurch over the edge of the next downhill. Almost lost it there, and it was a real moment of zen frenzy excitement, the precious present.

Feeling righteously sore, wondering when, if ever, I'll have time to pursue the finer things in life. Lying down for a bit, just contemplating, wondering how long it will be until I stop missing things that are miles and months away. It occurs to me that I'm violating three out of four of my axioms of living with my current lifestyle. I'm struggling; I'm keeping a lot of things to myself; and I'm not being present. Don't really know what to do about it. Time and exercise and experience and work -- and possibly drinking -- are the only things I can think of in my bag of available tricks that might help.

Getting laid would probably be good, but that doesn't seem terribly likely given my schedule, unless I can meet some political prospects or something. Actually this should be possible, but there's still my attitude in general to be dealt with, matters of self-esteem and those pesky pesky standards. Maybe I could ask Molly for advice on trolling through Friendster. Something's got to give pretty soon here.

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