"Undermining my electoral viability since 2001."

"I Never Thought A Hot Dog Would Get Me In Trouble"

So Thursday night we get the call, The Sword, an awesome story-metal band, is going to be playing a last minute un-announced show along with The Saviours, from Oakland. The Sword is one of Hannah's favorite bands, and Mark puts on the CD and we get ready to head pick her up and drive us all to Eurika to the Schooner to see the show.

It was not meant to be.

The Schooner, see, is a low-end local strip club, run by a crochety old man named Whitey. Seems that after unloading their trailer full of gear, the bands went to the bar next door, the Shanty, which has a successful hipster-ish clientelle thing going, and gives away free hot dogs. Local liaison (and non-touring roadie) Miles is sitting in the Schooner having a beer and watching the bands' stuff, when Whitey asks where they all went.

"Oh, I think they're all next door having a hot dog," he says.

"Well then they can pack their shit up and get the fuck out of here then," responds Whitey. It seems there's a longstanding and bitter rivalry between the Schooner (a dingy strip club) and the Shanty (a hipster hangout). You know, two bars next to eachother; a clash of civilizations.

"We've got food to eat right here," says Whitey. They do: packaged bags of funions.

He's a notorious crank though, and musical acts are a rarity at the Schooner. Sometime back in the day he allegedly kicked out a band that had been booked there because they were Asian. Apparently the hot dogs are a sore spot.

"I never thought a hot dog would get me in trouble," said Miles. One of the band-members protested that he had a Polish dog, but that didn't seem to make any difference.

Luckily there were some barely-of-age kids there (skanky teen moustaches) who knew of a metal house-party in Arcata where the bands might be able to play, so the scene loaded up to head over there, but when we arrived there was nothing. According to a couple teenagers who were still hanging around the side of the road, the party had been busted by the cops 15 minutes before we arrived. Classic.

After that it was declared a "no show" and everyone dissipated, so we went back downdown to Sarah and Hannah's, drank a beer and rolled a little smoke, then closed out one of the downtown bars, watching what we took to be the remnants of a wedding party country-dance all night long.

Good times.

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