The rain is on, steady and heavy for the past two days. Listening to it fall in my bedroom reminds me of childhood home. It's peaceful and soothing as long as you've got a roof over your head, especially if there's also a fireplace going.

Things have been going really well. I'm stuck working though the holidays on an overdue project, but we're making steady progress and I've come to accept that it just needs to get done, stopped being angry at myself for letting it get out of hand and frustrated with the other cogs in the system. This too shall pass.

I had a really scary moment on Satuday. Trying to wrap things up and get ready for the party, I accidentally deleted some critical files. Luckily there are multiple backup systems in play, and very dependable people out there too. Nothing was actually lost, but for the twenty minutes or so it took to sort out, I found myself staring down the barrel of a truly colossal fuckup. Feeling that kind of weight made me realize my stresses and troubles now aren't so bad, and (silver lining ahoy!) it makes them that much easier to deal with.

Getting that crisis resolved to neatly sent me into the evening with a lightness in my spirit and a new energy for life. Contrast reveals. That feeling is carrying on, and I'm learning the practical truth of my words about the contagious nature of Love and other emotions. Attitude is infectious, and in any organization or relationship, we all feed back into one another, both positively and negatively.

It's a lot of responsibility, really. I'm reminded of a cheezy country anthem by Hank Williams Jr, and the traditional barroom call and response:

Why do you drink? _(To get drunk!)_

Why do you roll smoke? _(To get stoned!)_

Why must you live out them songs that you wrote? _(To get laid!)_

It's possibly a little more complex than that when you preach about love or revolution or even a semi-fictional Dark Future; but even if you're a pop-singer, even if you're just some dude that people occasionally listen to, if you've any self-awareness at all it's still something to carry. Can one really live out the songs that one writes? Seems to me the answer is probably not -- if nothing else then by the virtue of what songs really are -- but maybe also it's something to aspire to.

Anyway, I'm headed back out on the road. Tomorrow I will do a little automotive maintenance, then drive up to Eugene. Saturday I'll drive to Bend and see my Dad and other family I've not seen in several years, and then I'll be back w/my Mom and Sis for Christmas. Then it's some more work, and up to Portland to fly to St. Louis for New Years w/Frank and Laura.

(Photo at the top by Steve took it, and a beaut!)