The doubting is over, Hillary Clinton is almost certainly going to run for president:

Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton (N.Y.) is to step down soon from her position in the Democratic leadership, a move that clears the deck for her ambitions outside the Senate.

Clinton is also keeping her campaign offices in New York and Washington operational despite the fact that she does not face reelection for six years, and had scant opposition last Tuesday.

Many in the progressive online community will wince at this. She's not very well liked, and a lot of people have The Fear about her. They both doubt her worth as a leader -- too corporate, lacking in principles, too related to a recent President with an iffy policy legacy -- and fear her power as a totem to rally the orcs at the GOP base. The dittohead horde has been fed for a generation on tales of "the Hildebeast." She would stoke their passion like almost no other.

To me, Hillary has been a rather unexciting politician since getting kicked around on that Health Care thing back in 1993-94. I find her public persona to be almost unbearable -- a transparent exercise in very bad acting -- although I've been assured by more than one person who's worked with her closely that in-person she's great. If that's so, she'd better start showing some greatness in public, because really if you try and watch her do her thing at a podium it's pretty piss poor.

Perhaps this is because on the inside she longs to be a revolutionary firebrand, and because (like a certain former Veep who worked with her Husband) she doubts this inner flame and calculates her positions to retain her position, rendering her hopelessly without courage or any semblance of conviction. I dunno. I really have no idea who these people are or what drives them. I just know she's a C+ performer at best on the stump.

Start practicing, Hill. Dig deep.

Oh man. It's baaaaaaack.

Thanks to me remembering how to use sed and bash (handy dandies from the hardcore geek toolbelt) and updating a few PHP scripts from their clunky 2001-style coding, I've resurrected my "classic" content!!!

This is really good stuff, the first two years of outlandishjosh.com. That was a special time and place to be: North Brooklyn in 2001-2003, right in the sweet spot for the second-wave, before the war, and before the eurotrash and Single Guys In Finance started showing up.

Some of this is of course fantastically out of date, and my intention at this point is to bring it all into the new system... it's a TODO I may or may not ever get around do, but I'm happy to make the juicy stuff available again. Heck, if only for myself. It's as good as an old journal. Personal archeology.

Some highlights:

• Ren Fayre: Bugs, Drugs, Neitzche -- a gonzo account of my trip to Luke's graduation-year extravaganza at Reed College.
• For that matter, the whole Life section is pretty good. That's where the juicy stuff is.
• Bridgetrips -- I used to do a ritual of writing the thoughts that came from reflections on riding my old first city bike over the W-burg bridge.
• Performance Texts -- stuff that I wrote to perform in front of people in a theatrical setting.
• One Year Later -- a rant written on the first anneversary of 9/11

There's a lot of gold in the day to day archive of that old frontpage. Shames me every time I read it. I used to be so good!

After pissing down all yesterday, the sky has opened up. Time to take a last chance to visit with nature sans-rain slicker. Time to clean the gutters!

I spent a quiet evening at home, lounging in front of the fire and contemplating/introspecting. The Love question is getting bigger and bigger in my mind. I've started trying to date -- a truly atavistic endeavor for me -- with mixed results so far; really just getting back out there, as they say.

Still, it's more than enough to remind me what I miss about womanly companionship; enough to set me off on reminiscing, and wondering when and from whence the next big bolt of romantic electricity will come. Who knows. Who knows.

I've had a lucky and full life in love thus far, maybe more than my fair share -- though really I don't believe this is something in finite supply -- but I'm still hungry, dammit.

Lots of wrangling around bills lately. Starting this new company (and having about five grand in back-pay outstanding at my old gig) has left me close to tapped out. I'm also switching banks -- no Citibank in the HC -- and I just realized I hadn't paid one of my student loans. Time to take stock:

Accounts Payable

Low-interest student loans:         $12,086.78
High-interest plastic debt:         $9,454.02
Unknown medical bills from 2005:   ~$2,000
Unknown back taxes from 2002-2003: ~$5,000

Accounts Due

Summer back pay:      $5,125
Oct salary:           $6,300

Looming Expenses/Purchases

Monthly minumum bill load:            ~$1,100
Travel to LA for niece's Bat Mitzvah: ~$800
New lappy:                            ~$1,800
Xmas Gifts/Travel:                     $???
Automobile:                            $???
2006 taxes:                           ~$6,000

At the moment my cash on hand is healthy though most of that is in the new bank account for which I don't yet have a card or anything. But that should work itself out. I don't anticipate having to beg, borrow or steal to make ends meet.

This is actually looking pretty good, all things considered. Chapter Three should be cash-flow-positive through the end of the year, meaning I'm optimistic about paying my Oct, Nov and Dec salaries. If my back-pay from this summer comes through I'll be sitting pretty. If not, I'll still get by.

I can be very austere if I need to. My general cost of living really can be as low as $1100 a month, including debt maintenance. I can live without a car for a few more months, and the laptop (while necessary in the next year) isn't needed right this second. If it all goes wrong, I'll survive with my credit rating intact.

Although I had no gig (a choice I don't regret) in yesterday's election, it was still a sort of big pivot-point for me subconsciously, one of those dates you mentally hang things around, a good arbitrary marker in time.

And so here it is the day after, and life is going to go on. Like some folks I've talked to, there's a possible sense of lightness and hope. I'm no political virgin here so I'm not expecting much (anything) to really happen in the next two years, but it's deeply heartening to win, to understand once again that this country isn't crazy, that there's always a chance for something better to happen.

It's getting me thinking about my role in all this, and my life going forward. I'm starting a company at the moment, that's my job, but I'm not really in it for the job or the paycheck or the work or the elections... I'm in it for the results, for something to happen, for change and effects and excitement (and recognition, sure) and for the prospect of a real step forward for Everyone.

Here's a quote that sticks out from the Kesey book I'm reading of late:

During the decade of our friendship we had shared a vision, a cause if you will. We were comrades in that elite though somewhat nebulous campaign dedicated to the overthrow of thought control. We dreamed of actually changing the human mind to make way for a loftier consciousness. Only from this unclouded vantage, we maintained, could humanity finally rise out of its repetitious history of turds and turmoil and realize that mighty goal of One World. One World Well Fed, Treated Fair, At Peace, Turned On, and In Tune with the Universal Harmony of the Spheres and the Eternal Everchanging Dharma of... of... Anyway, One Wonderful World.

Kudos to Mike, Molly and Mark (and Mark's brother) for pulling it together. Onward!

UPDATE: RUMMY RESIGNS!

It's a wave election. Where's that wave coming from? Millennials:

Republicans were rejected across the board, but the 18 - 29 year old bracket is what made this wave election possible.

HFS! I did not expect for this to be a sweep! It looks like (recounts permitting) Webb and Tester are in, which would mean that Democrats + Lieberman would control the Senate. You can bet Holy Joe will milk that, but in terms of setting the agenda and taking control of committees, it's a shift.

It looks like the GOP is out of power in the Legislative branch. They also lost governorships and state legislatures to boot. It really was a national wave (as big a deal as 1994 for sure) and a resounding vote of no-confidence by the people against Bush's agenda.

Closer to home, my man Jerry McNerney beat corrupt oil-company shill Richard Pombo like a drum down in the 11th district. That was my $250 well spent I think.

Other notes:

• Young voter turnout (ages 18-29) was way way up vs 2002, and was the most partisan segment of the electorate.
• Anti-choice ballot initiatives failed in several states.
• Bans on same-sex marriage passed in several red states, but failed in Arizona. This one's going to look real different in ten years, I think.
• Minimum wage increases in several states. Expect a bump in the federal minimum as one of the first things the new Democratic congress does.

Should the Democrats shore up their position here and govern well, I can see national health care front and center once Bush is out.

Early (read: unreliable) indicators are good. Turnout appears to be high. Exit polls suggest a national referendum election. There seems to be a strong investigative response to most reports of problems.

In any event, I'll be lurking around kos and mydd, watching TV (prolly MSNBC and Olberman, who's one of the few personalities I can stand) drinking and enjoying the returns.

First real results in 5 minutes or so.

...

There's a strong push from the talking heads (who I don't watch much for this reason) to push the narrative that this election is about "moderate Democrats," with anti-choice Bob Casey (who won in PA) as the poster-boy.

This is pretty much nonsense, or at least it's not grounded in emprical reality. Check my dawg Sterling Motherfucking Newberry for the details.

But basically this is a great example of how insular the world of the DC power elite -- political careerists and the media figures who they mingle with -- really is. As I'm fond of saying, adult life is disappointingly like highschool. That unfortunately means that these narratives can be quite powerful, because in spite of the facts "everyone knows" that it was moderate/centrist candidates who made the difference.

...

Another observation, not a mention has been made as to "what are the Republicans going to do?"

...

What's really hillarious is that presumptive Speaker Pelosi is deemed as too conservative in her home district of San Francisco. Egad!

My Exercise of the Franchise