I don’t know what to say but for some reason I feel like saying something in response to this post. When you’re not in it, love is monotlitic. It seems to exist. But in reality love isn’t an entity, but a series of choices where you choose someone else over yourself. Because you enjoy it. Because they interest you that much. Because whatever. If its reciprocal, they’re choosing you back and you somehow both end up with more.

What does this have to do with your post? I’m not sure. Except that I think its all more incremental than you’ve invisioned it here (and as I’ve read you write it in the past). You know you have a lot to offer. But perhaps in practice, the question is, what do you offer in each interaction, and with what motivation. That goes for sexual, emotional, casual, friendly, all interactions. What do you offer, and what do you accept? That seems to be where the moral balance would lie anyway. Could be that the balance is fine. Could be that you offer a lot, but accept little, wouldn’t work any better than the other way around. Could be that you’re not putting anything on offer, even in more casual contacts, because of these feelings you write about, which makes sense, but makes it hard for people to give back to you… I don’t know if this is relevant really, but just trying to offer a different lens that might be productive.